Post by Panzer on May 12, 2010 20:36:17 GMT -5
So I joined this site looking for a nice Resident Evil RP, and then found a whole forum. Anyway I'm still reading some role plays, and haven't decided if any RE original characters of mine can fit in anywhere. However I have felt like writing a little roleplay sample for one of my characters, but she breaks a few of the character creation rules so I doubt I'll try to incorporate her into this place. Also I had named her Pandora and then realized there was another character here who went by the name of Pandora. So I figured I would just put this little oneshot in here, and have my writing criticized a bit.
Pandora is not this character's real name, though, just a codename given to her which can be explained through a very long back-story and extra things I made up that would take way too many paragraphs to explain, so I won't bother going into that. She had come about with me being upset over a post in an RE forum about what made the Resident Evil games creepy, and that without Wesker the games wouldn't be the same anymore. I believed that the environment that Umbrella created, ( which seemed like a perfect environment to lose your mind in, and become emotionally disturbed,) is one of the big factors that makes up what Resident Evil is. Other companies and groups of crazy people in the game seemed to have picked up on making these same catastrophic environments, so that they can work on these viruses. Thinking that way, it's easy to set the stage for another game, and to have plenty of new enemies to pop-up that are just as fun to hate as Wesker. So I had made a batch of anti-heroes and potential villains that could have come from that environment, and that is where the idea for this character comes from.
I made an ex-Umbrella scientist that has had a very strong-willed personality become mentally unstable, and unable to differentiate reality from something her mind makes her see. I wanted her to be haunted, and unable to cope with things unless she constantly revisited a chaotic or hectic environment. I think soldiers that come back from war have similar issues coping with a normal society, but I wanted to make her issues a bit more extreme without seeming extremely unnatural. She also worked on some B.O.W.'s that follow her around, which have a freakishly long explanation too. (I think I've broken two rules with her already, lol.)
Anyway, here's the super short story. I would enjoy constructive criticism, as well, since I know I'm not a perfect writer.
A heavy mechanical breath fogs up a broken world. Rain sprayed down from a gray sky, leaving a more chilling mist present as the fog fades away. Support beams bent upwards, as if the ceiling were ripped from the roof, and hands of ash dragged across a tattered wallpaper, leaving it black and burnt. Then paper started to fall will the rain. Some had photo clippings, and some were burnt. Some papers were soaked, and some just had a dying soul scribbled across the page, chased with flecks of blood. The paper landed on staircases, twisted and crumbling, attempting to become something, a memory. They descended down the collapsing stairs, leading into an abyss. Then a scream erupts from dark pit, and shakes the world into a riot.
The fog fades away and a red flash of light illuminates a massive, two-story warehouse. At the back of the facility a ceiling hung low, where some offices were visible through a glass well. There people in white lab-coats, were panicking and disappearing behind corners in a splatter of blood. Bodies are violently shaken and dragged away, as these people tried to escape these offices. If they did they were confronted by a maze of shipping crates, stacked on top of each other. Soldiers dressed in gray garbs and gas masks made their way around the floor, took up a positioning, in the maze or in the offices, and began to fire a fine spray of bullets, which suddenly began to rotate towards the floor as the gray bodies are yanked into the ceiling, behind crates, and shelves, and lost in the maze. The scene breathes a fog again, and a lever-action shotgun is cocked in front of the scene.
A woman’s electronic voice booms into the room,
“Warning.
Biohazard.
Please evacuate to level 4.”
Amidst the panic and slaughter a calm arm points the shotgun at a control panel, by a door sliding shut, and shoots it. The door stops and the arm retracts to its body, which belonged to a tall, slim woman, wrapped in a dark hooded trench coat. She stood on a balcony, overlooking the glowing red chaos with a clear breathing mask holding onto her face, framed by her long amber curls. She checked the pathway to the balcony, lined with yellow lights; a guide to the exit for the dead and the dying.
A guttural snarl makes the woman’s head snap the other direction, as a creature leaped onto the pathway and lunges for her. The gun is raised and a loud BOOM tears away at a rotting green and fleshy leg. The grotesque and mutated reptile let out a low growl as she reloaded her shotgun. Some of the pair of yellow lights behind her start to fade to black, as the creature limped into another lunge. Then pairs of the black lights jump off the wall and turn into long shadows bearing five jagged jaws, tearing the creature to shreds with a vicious onslaught of snapping teeth.
The woman took in another mechanical breath in her gas mask, as she watched savage black heap. Then it stopped and motioned towards her, as if asking a question. She turned her body towards the jammed door, and the shadows poured out of the room. She looked back at the scene with a grimace pulling at her full lips, and baring her teeth.
She watched the scene: a grotesque and burning puzzle of rotting bones breaking apart, just falling to pieces. She kept curiously kept her eyes on the scene, as she reached in her coat and pulled out a small oxygen meter. Her eyes darted down for a moment; it was still full. She tucked it back in, and pulled out a few vials encasing a blue liquid in a double helix. She tossed it around in her hand for a moment and then shot her eyes back up to the scene again, and tucked the vials back into her coat, and then fingered one last item out. It emitted a few beeps, followed by a few more wet growls echoing across the room. A satisfied smile pulled her mouth close, as she began counting down. One minute and fifty-nine seconds, fifty-eight, fifty-seven, fifty-six. Her boots slowly backed-pedaled out of the room, then turned on a heel and slid out of the bloody glow. One minute and forty seconds.
She continued running through the world that was rotting to pieces, surrounded by her five shadows.
One minute and fifteen seconds.
She made her way out of a long hallway, and through a series of rooms. She continued running through other doors she had jammed, making sure they stayed open, letting the virus make its way through the complex.
One minute.
She heard faint scratches skittering above her, inside of the ceilings, and met one or two thick steel doors being pounded into scrap metal. The evils she had let out were starting to tear at the foundations of this place and suck the life out of it.
Thirty seconds.
She ran through the crumbling place. This is a place that was a part of a world where her life had been extinguished, and where she became no different than a monster- no different than the shadows that followed her. Here, these shadows were nothing more than ghosts: leftovers from the crumbling world that made this place.
Ten Seconds
She got out of a room and into another hallway and the woman saw a rectangular box light, on the hallway wall, shrinking into a line. She dove past the closing light, and threw something into two doors closing upon an elevator full of people, as the light disappeared across her body. A soft hiss, followed by fits of coughing began riding to the next floor. The shadows trotted in behind her.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
A silence settled by the double doors. One of the shadows broke the silence with a bang against the two doors, and then tearing metal. Then the six figures crawled into the dark pit of the elevator shaft.
They were nothing more than by-products of Umbrella.
Pandora is not this character's real name, though, just a codename given to her which can be explained through a very long back-story and extra things I made up that would take way too many paragraphs to explain, so I won't bother going into that. She had come about with me being upset over a post in an RE forum about what made the Resident Evil games creepy, and that without Wesker the games wouldn't be the same anymore. I believed that the environment that Umbrella created, ( which seemed like a perfect environment to lose your mind in, and become emotionally disturbed,) is one of the big factors that makes up what Resident Evil is. Other companies and groups of crazy people in the game seemed to have picked up on making these same catastrophic environments, so that they can work on these viruses. Thinking that way, it's easy to set the stage for another game, and to have plenty of new enemies to pop-up that are just as fun to hate as Wesker. So I had made a batch of anti-heroes and potential villains that could have come from that environment, and that is where the idea for this character comes from.
I made an ex-Umbrella scientist that has had a very strong-willed personality become mentally unstable, and unable to differentiate reality from something her mind makes her see. I wanted her to be haunted, and unable to cope with things unless she constantly revisited a chaotic or hectic environment. I think soldiers that come back from war have similar issues coping with a normal society, but I wanted to make her issues a bit more extreme without seeming extremely unnatural. She also worked on some B.O.W.'s that follow her around, which have a freakishly long explanation too. (I think I've broken two rules with her already, lol.)
Anyway, here's the super short story. I would enjoy constructive criticism, as well, since I know I'm not a perfect writer.
A heavy mechanical breath fogs up a broken world. Rain sprayed down from a gray sky, leaving a more chilling mist present as the fog fades away. Support beams bent upwards, as if the ceiling were ripped from the roof, and hands of ash dragged across a tattered wallpaper, leaving it black and burnt. Then paper started to fall will the rain. Some had photo clippings, and some were burnt. Some papers were soaked, and some just had a dying soul scribbled across the page, chased with flecks of blood. The paper landed on staircases, twisted and crumbling, attempting to become something, a memory. They descended down the collapsing stairs, leading into an abyss. Then a scream erupts from dark pit, and shakes the world into a riot.
The fog fades away and a red flash of light illuminates a massive, two-story warehouse. At the back of the facility a ceiling hung low, where some offices were visible through a glass well. There people in white lab-coats, were panicking and disappearing behind corners in a splatter of blood. Bodies are violently shaken and dragged away, as these people tried to escape these offices. If they did they were confronted by a maze of shipping crates, stacked on top of each other. Soldiers dressed in gray garbs and gas masks made their way around the floor, took up a positioning, in the maze or in the offices, and began to fire a fine spray of bullets, which suddenly began to rotate towards the floor as the gray bodies are yanked into the ceiling, behind crates, and shelves, and lost in the maze. The scene breathes a fog again, and a lever-action shotgun is cocked in front of the scene.
A woman’s electronic voice booms into the room,
“Warning.
Biohazard.
Please evacuate to level 4.”
Amidst the panic and slaughter a calm arm points the shotgun at a control panel, by a door sliding shut, and shoots it. The door stops and the arm retracts to its body, which belonged to a tall, slim woman, wrapped in a dark hooded trench coat. She stood on a balcony, overlooking the glowing red chaos with a clear breathing mask holding onto her face, framed by her long amber curls. She checked the pathway to the balcony, lined with yellow lights; a guide to the exit for the dead and the dying.
A guttural snarl makes the woman’s head snap the other direction, as a creature leaped onto the pathway and lunges for her. The gun is raised and a loud BOOM tears away at a rotting green and fleshy leg. The grotesque and mutated reptile let out a low growl as she reloaded her shotgun. Some of the pair of yellow lights behind her start to fade to black, as the creature limped into another lunge. Then pairs of the black lights jump off the wall and turn into long shadows bearing five jagged jaws, tearing the creature to shreds with a vicious onslaught of snapping teeth.
The woman took in another mechanical breath in her gas mask, as she watched savage black heap. Then it stopped and motioned towards her, as if asking a question. She turned her body towards the jammed door, and the shadows poured out of the room. She looked back at the scene with a grimace pulling at her full lips, and baring her teeth.
She watched the scene: a grotesque and burning puzzle of rotting bones breaking apart, just falling to pieces. She kept curiously kept her eyes on the scene, as she reached in her coat and pulled out a small oxygen meter. Her eyes darted down for a moment; it was still full. She tucked it back in, and pulled out a few vials encasing a blue liquid in a double helix. She tossed it around in her hand for a moment and then shot her eyes back up to the scene again, and tucked the vials back into her coat, and then fingered one last item out. It emitted a few beeps, followed by a few more wet growls echoing across the room. A satisfied smile pulled her mouth close, as she began counting down. One minute and fifty-nine seconds, fifty-eight, fifty-seven, fifty-six. Her boots slowly backed-pedaled out of the room, then turned on a heel and slid out of the bloody glow. One minute and forty seconds.
She continued running through the world that was rotting to pieces, surrounded by her five shadows.
One minute and fifteen seconds.
She made her way out of a long hallway, and through a series of rooms. She continued running through other doors she had jammed, making sure they stayed open, letting the virus make its way through the complex.
One minute.
She heard faint scratches skittering above her, inside of the ceilings, and met one or two thick steel doors being pounded into scrap metal. The evils she had let out were starting to tear at the foundations of this place and suck the life out of it.
Thirty seconds.
She ran through the crumbling place. This is a place that was a part of a world where her life had been extinguished, and where she became no different than a monster- no different than the shadows that followed her. Here, these shadows were nothing more than ghosts: leftovers from the crumbling world that made this place.
Ten Seconds
She got out of a room and into another hallway and the woman saw a rectangular box light, on the hallway wall, shrinking into a line. She dove past the closing light, and threw something into two doors closing upon an elevator full of people, as the light disappeared across her body. A soft hiss, followed by fits of coughing began riding to the next floor. The shadows trotted in behind her.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
A silence settled by the double doors. One of the shadows broke the silence with a bang against the two doors, and then tearing metal. Then the six figures crawled into the dark pit of the elevator shaft.
They were nothing more than by-products of Umbrella.